• poems,  poetry,  shadows

    Looking For Me

    January 31, 2023

    I have been sitting here resting
    after my morning stroll, and the sun
    in its soft yellow work gloves
    has come in through the window
    and is feeling around on the opposite wall
    looking for me, having seen me
    cheerfully walking along the road
    just as it rose, having followed me home
    to see what I have to be happy about.

    Ted Kooser, Winter Morning Walks

    Another bitter cold morning at -8 degrees. However, the forecast is promising. I’m liking Kooser’s poetry in this new book called Winter Morning Walks recommended by Joe. Stay warm!

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  • landscape,  natural areas,  Pineridge Natural Area,  quotes,  sunrises

    It’s Cold

    January 30, 2023
    Predawn at Dixon Reservoir – November 2022

    My responsibility is to speak the truth as I feel it, and to attempt to speak it with as much precision and beauty as possible.

    Audre Lorde

    The truth this morning is: it’s cold and I feel it! A brisk -4 degrees at 7:00 am. And, overcast skies and a light snow are part of the truth. We will not see the sun today but hoping to see it tomorrow. This image was taken this past November at Dixon Reservoir. My son is coming over for a late lunch today and bringing butternut squash soup. Bring it on, I say. Thanks for stopping by.

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  • coffee life,  coffee shops,  fountain pens,  journal,  journaling,  writing/reading

    Something New

    January 29, 2023

    It is bitter cold this morning. My weather app said it was 3 degrees and my car’s dashboard said 3 degrees when I left for the coffee shop at 7:02 am. Two hours later it says zero degrees. It’s going the wrong way. We are looking at 2-3 days of this cold. I’m home and in for the rest of the day!!! Okay, enough about the cold and on to something new.

    This something new is a new Pelikan M205 Apatite Special Edition Demonstrator fountain pen. This past year Pelikan announced the Edelstein Apatite ink for 2022. Since I’ve been pleased with the seven Pelikan pens I already have, I didn’t even know this new ink or pen had come out until a week ago. After all, I can only write with one pen at a time. 😳 Needless to say, I fell in love with this color immediately. The pen is the newest in a series of eight demonstrator pens they have come out with since 2015. I only have one other demonstrator, the Smoky Quartz, which came out in 2017. All my other M200x pens are a marble swirl. Pelikan calls the Apatite color a Turquoise-Blue and is part of the M205 series which has the silver trim rather than gold. It is also a part of their gemstone inspired models that have been a popular mainstay of the company’s annual line-up. Apatite is a phosphate mineral which was first discovered in 1786 by the German geologist A.G. Werner. As a demonstrator pen you are able to see the internal piston and ink which I like. 👍 Being a special edition the price was higher than I wanted but…. So far I like the looks of the pen, the nib (medium) writes wonderfully and the ink shades well while pleasing to my eyes. So, my task now is to find all the words hidden within this pen by putting pen to paper in my journals. Enough gibberish from me. Stay warm and enjoy your day!!

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  • poetry,  seasons,  shadows,  writing/reading

    Stay Warm

    January 28, 2023

    the warm sunlight enters my bedroom window,
    with shadows in contrast to the suns rays of happiness
    the morning begins

    clouds quietly move in and gray skies begin to dominate,
    promising a blanket of snow and cold temperatures
    the change begins

    without fanfare old man winter makes an appearance,
    and in the silence we listen for the first snowflakes
    the snow begins

    mws

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  • clouds,  Plants,  quotes,  seasons,  trees,  winter scenes

    This way…

    January 26, 2023

    “When we allow ourselves greater freedom in space and place than has come to be the norm, we create our own pathways of meaning and knowledge upon the land where we dwell. Wandering freely, we garner landmarks, presences, ecological awareness, a sense of kinship. Our brains and our hearts alike gather this knowledge as we become intimate with the paths that speak to us most strongly. Our footsteps in the outer world create an inner, wilder cartography that whispers, This way, this way…

    Lyanda Lynn Haupt

    I drove by these trees the other afternoon when it was cold and overcast. I vaguely remember how different they looked in an image I took this past fall. Not quite the same perspective and the change of seasons is quite obvious. Yet, each time I pass by I have an opportunity to draw more intimate with these trees and if I listen closely maybe hear their whisper, This way, this way…

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  • poems,  poetry

    Squirrel of Worry

    January 25, 2023

    Sometimes when things are going well,
    the daredevil squirrel of worry
    suddenly leaps from the back of my head
    to the feeder, swings by his paws
    and clambers up, twitching his question mark tail.
    And though I try the recommended baffles —
    tin cone of meditation, greased pipe
    of positive thought — every sunflower seed
    in this life is his if he wants it.

    Ted Kooser, Winter Morning Walks, page 48

    Well, I did not receive the news I wanted to hear from my cardiologist yesterday. The valve is in the severe stage and something needs to be done. The valve that was replaced 4 years ago is, in the doctor’s opinion, too small for my body which is why it failed so early. An echocardiogram 1 month post TAVR echo shows elevated MG of 26mmHg and Vmax of 3.27m/s, consistent with PPM. Which in doctor speak says the valve is already struggling. So, they are recommending I meet with a cardiothoracic surgeon for a possible SAVR (open heart surgery again) with a root enlargement, making that opening larger to accommodate a larger replacement valve. I have an Left Heart Cath set for Feb 13th then meet with the surgeon on the 15th. If the cardiothoracic surgeon does not think I’m a good candidate for whatever reason, the groin procedure is still an option but they’d still be looking at a valve that is too small. Not what I want. My next appointment is with the Hematologist to look at my low Platelet numbers. They say I’m thrombocytopenia.

    Again, it’s not the news I wanted but it’s what I have. Another opportunity to live in the present moment by keeping an eye on my feet and wiggling my toes.

    About the image and poem by Ted Kooser. I’ve encountered this squirrel of worry throughout my life and in the past 4 weeks it has been quite busy. I must admit all my worries are based in fear (False Evidence Appearing Real). I do my best to face these worries as part of life by finding quiet time, practicing prayer and meditation, spending time in nature and reaching out to a listening ear or being that listening ear. Avoiding my fears or denying them has never been a solution. Hoping you’re having a great Wednesday!

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