“While my friend always spoke about the sun, I kept speaking about the clouds, until one day I realized that it was the sun that allowed me to see the clouds.”
Henri Nouwen
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Routines and Habits
I have not had much energy or motivation the past 3 weeks. The infection, anemia and the weak heart have slowed me down. I feel like I need to move more even though I may not feel like it nor have the energy. Laying around is not good for my physical and emotional well-being. I ate a small late lunch of Mugs Classic Mac and Cheese yesterday afternoon then drove to Reservoir Ridge Natural Area to watch the sun set. Most of the natural areas are closed due to wet and muddy conditions. I chose this location because there are good opportunities just outside the gate. I’m feeling the need to get back into routines and habits that nurture me and which I feel help in my healing. Not only that but these moments with nature always provide and remind me of the awe and wonder of this world. Creation at work every moment of the day. Happy Friday the 13th!
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Quiet Miracles
Take time to see the quiet miracles that seek no attention
John O’DonohueIt’s cold here and not going to warm up soon enough for me. So, as I embrace the cold I chose to post this image taken along the Oregon Coast in 2003 when it was warmer. It was one of those quiet miracles!
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Today’s Gratitude
I am grateful today that my family did a wellness check on me this past week. I was taken by ambulance and admitted to the hospital on Friday (12/23) due to a UTI infection that moved into my blood system. I knew I was ill and was assuming I had influenza or even covid. Negative on both those tests. I have a bruise on my forehead and right hip which indicates I may have fallen. My CBC numbers were, and still are, all over the place, none were in their normal range. I had high white blood cell count, low red blood cell count and my platelet count was at the bottom. An EKG showed the heart valve replacement I had 4 years ago is only functioning at about 60-65%. So for the next 6 nights I was poked and probed in an effort to monitor my blood and look for origins of all my issues to medically address them. I didn’t know I was that sick, I was that sick. We are addressing the infection as quickly as we can along with the heart valve issues.
So I spent Christmas in the hospital, which was not on my radar. I was discharged and home by about 6:30 pm Wednesday night (12/28). Took me a while to recognize the silence of my condo again, compared to the bustle of a hospital. I’m very anemic, have little energy and will be weak for a couple more weeks until my body heals and the numbers get back to normal. More tests are being scheduled then probably have the valve replaced via a TAVR procedure. I may not post much over the next few days/weeks as I regain my energy back. I don’t want to make this long but there are a couple people who watch my blog and I wanted to let you know why I have not posted here for a few days. Hope all is well with you and you had an enjoyable Christmas. ❤️
The above image was taken back on 12/16/22 along Weld County Road 88.
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Cold and Windy Day
It has been a cold and windy day and expect another one tomorrow. I saw a high of 34 today but know in my bones it felt like it was -50 degrees. Drove out east on Weld County Road 88 this afternoon because I thought I could see something like this, the sun setting over the mountains on a cloudless sky. Seems the wind blows more when you are standing on the open prairie with no wind breaks. In for the night and nibbling on grapes and Port Salut on Wheat Thin crackers. Hope everyone had a good week and hope you have a wonderful weekend! Stay warm and dry.
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We are not bad peanuts!
I belong to no religión. My religion is love. Every heart is my temple.
RumiAt this point in my life I do not believe anyone is a bad person at the center of who they are. Although that could be true of peanut M&Ms, I don’t believe it’s true of humanity. Some will disagree. There are many who believe the lie that we are born bad and then live a life based on that belief, never coming to the full potential and the gift we are to the world.
God who created man out of love also calls him to love–the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. For man is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love.
Catechism of the Catholic Church, No. 1604I’ve read where we are created out of love to be love and that statement resonates at the center of who I am and continues to resonate. Maybe it’s the optimist in me, the romantic in me or my hope for humanity. But, I also believe in it because it gives me hope that all people can be transformed and become who they were really created to be; loving, compassionate, kind. This world needs love, lots of it, and it is our task to be that love. We are not bad peanuts coated in chocolate!
- clouds, landscape, natural areas, Pineridge Natural Area, rants, Reservoir Ridge Natural Area, sunrises, sunsets
Predawn Light and Blue Hour
The clouds looked inviting early this morning so I made my way to Pineridge in hopes of some colors in those clouds. But the colors I was hoping for did not materialize which happens when I set my expectations too high. Anyway it was wonderful to be there. I did return with cold hands and toes which always seems to make my mocha latte, made by Nate this morning, even better.
I found myself in a funk while writing yesterday afternoon. So, with the sun still shining and about an hour left before sunset, I headed to Reservoir Ridge Natural Area to sit with all of creation and, also, to watch the sunset. I found what I needed. I am aware that when I leave I always need to carry home with me what I find there.
Some time after the sun has set, we enter the period of twilight called the nautical stage where everything around seems to turn blue. They call it blue hour because the sunlight’s blue wavelengths dominate due to the Chappuis absorption caused by ozone (you can check it out). I love this blue color and one of the many reason I gravitate to the twilight hours.
On a sad note, today is the 81st anniversary for the bombing of Pearl Harbor. It is a day to remember the lives lost on that day (both sides, military and civilian), the families of those who lost loved ones, and the millions of lives needlessly lost over the next four years of war. President Roosevelt in his speech the following day called it a day which will live in infamy. My prayer is that day of infamy be a time for the world to wake up to the fact that we have never found peace through war.