• landscape,  Self-portraits,  sunsets

    Another tool on this spiritual journey

    I pushed the order button on March 2nd for a beginners Native American Style flute, also called a Love flute. I could give you a list of reasons for justifications but it had more to do with impulse than anything else. I have always connected to the sound of Native American flutes. It’s not a loud instrument, does not require a battery or power outlet, has little maintenance, you don’t need to read music, and you can easily take it anywhere. I have never played a wind instrument in my life so this is my first. And, I quickly discovered I wanted a flute made by the hand of a craftsman and out of wood. Some are beautiful works of art and some are simple works of art. I chose a simple work of art and one designed for a beginner.

    Danja portrait

    While taking sunset photos and selfies of me practicing on my Native American flute on Thursday evening, I met a wedding photographer, Danja, who was shooting a young couple’s engagement photos near me. Afterwards, they thanked me for serenading them while they did their photos. I was surprised by their comment because I’m not sure I would call what they heard as serenading. It was more about trying to keep all squawks, squeaks and whistles to a minimum. Then Danja asked if she could take a photo of me playing the flute. The top image is what she sent me the next morning. Thank you for the image, Danja!!

    Self-portrait

    I’ve discovered online lessons and courses through youtube and a couple of websites to help me along this journey. I’m taking one online course now. As you know I enjoy spending time in the natural areas and I can think of no better place to play a Native American flute than in nature. I’m finding these locations are ideal to practice learning how the flute and I can make music together. I’m 74 years old and do not know when I will take my last heartbeat. So it seems reasonable to give this some good old discipline, practice, and be both patient and gentle with myself. I plan on carrying it when I ride the bicycle along the trails, stopping when I find a secluded area and play. My hope is for the flute to be another tool on this spiritual journey I’m traveling.

  • journaling,  quotes,  Self-portraits,  writing/reading

    Give it now…

    One of the things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. Similarly, the impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.

    Annie Dillard, The Writing Life

    As I was journaling at Mugs yesterday morning i noticed the lighting was perfect for a photo that symbolizes my journaling. So I asked one my barista, to take this image. Jess volunteered and this what she gave me. I like it.

    I’ve journaled for years and feel that the past five years have been the most productive. I don’t mean that in quantity but in the quality of my writing. Every time I put pen to paper I find unexpected words. I’ve uncovered truths and lies I’ve told myself for years. My journals have help me dig deeper into my soul helpsing me to know myself more while hopefully being a better human being. I am learning to put into words how I see the gift of this natural world I live in. I also am learning to put into words the gift of this inner landscape of myself.

    Finishing up laundry then some reading, walking and photography. It is overcast but warm.

  • Black and White,  People/Portraits,  Self-portraits

    Self-portrait Friday

    A few years ago I belonged to a photographers website called pbase. Someone on that website started a Self-portrait Friday challenge. It seemed like a good idea for a weekly project so I jumped right in. It required me to plan scenes rather than post a selfie in front of the bathroom mirror. This is one from that weekly project. I was living in Westerville Ohio at the time. I envisioned this image after seeing the street light and the mystery it created along with the brick wall in a small alley located in the older part of town. So after a bit of planning I set out to create this image. I needed the cigarettes and the lighter as props and was dumbfounded at the cost of those cigarettes. Glad I’m not a smoker anymore. Not sure this is exactly what I had in mind but it works for me even 13 years later. Here is a link to the post I made on this blog from that project but with a slightly different pose. Actually, I think I like this image better.

    I actually spent some time snooping around on pBase to see what it’s like. I saw some familiar names of photographers who are still active in that community. One is our friend Faye White, who’s blog can be found here. Hope everyone had a great weekend!

  • landscape,  People/Portraits,  Self-portraits,  sunrises

    love beyond my fear…

    A predawn self-portrait near Horsetooth Reservoir – 2012

    Wakan Tanka, Great Mystery,
    teach me how to trust
    my heart,
    my mind,
    my intuition,
    my inner knowing,
    the senses of my body,
    the blessings of my spirit.
    Teach me to trust these things
    so that I may enter my Sacred Space
    and love beyond my fear,
    and thus Walk in Balance
    with the passing of each glorious Sun.

    Lakota Prayer
  • People/Portraits,  quotes,  Self-portraits

    Today’s Discovery

    “… when we write in a journaling mode we are getting in touch with the many selves inside our self.”

    Naomi Shihab Nye

    I enjoy this process of self-reflection in my life. I’m finding it to be an exciting inward journey and yet outward, vitally connected to all of creation. My journaling and photography are tools I use in that journey. Today’s discovery, I need a haircut. Now for some homemade vegetable soup.

  • Black and White,  Mary Oliver,  poems,  poetry,  Self-portraits

    Temple of Thought

    Not quite four a.m., when the rapture of being alive
    strikes me from sleep, and I rise
    from the comfortable bed and go
    to another room, where my books are lined up
    in their neat and colorful rows. How 

    magical they are! I choose one
    and open it. Soon
    I have wandered in over the waves of the words
    to the temple of thought.

                      And then I hear
    outside, over the actual waves, the small,
    perfect voice of the loon. He is also awake,
    and with his heavy head uplifted he calls out
    to the fading moon, to the pink flush
    swelling in the east that, soon,
    will become the long, reasonable day. 

                           Inside the house
    it is still dark, except for the pool of lamplight
    in which I am sitting.
                      I do not close the book. 
    Neither, for a long while, do I read on.

    Mary Oliver, her poem The Loon from What Do I know?
  • Anthony de Mello,  Black and White,  People/Portraits,  quotes,  Self-portraits

    wiser today…

    Self-portrait

    “When you come to see you are not as wise today as you thought you were yesterday, you are wiser today.”

    Anthony de Mello

    I like this quote and have felt for the past few years that anyone with the answers was not someone I wanted to hang with. However, I must confess there was a time when I thought I thought I knew the answer(s). It has been through the experiences of living my life that has taught me the range of life’s grayscale goes way beyond St. Ansel’s black and white zone system of 10. I’m just not as wise as I think I am or I think I should be. (Notice all the “I’s” in that sentence?)

    As I look out at the world I see it only through my eyes, not yours. Therefore, my wisdom is often times different than someone else’s due to life’s experiences, culture, upbringing, lessons learned, or not, in each of our lives. Just knowing that will makes us wiser today.

    And, if there is anything I would change in de Mello’s quote, I would replace the exclusive word “you” in his quote with the inclusive word of “we”. But, I’m wise enough to leave it alone. 😁

  • quotes,  Self-portraits

    No Longer Just Fantasy

    “You cannot find peace avoiding life.”

    Virginia Woolf

    There is a tendency for me to live in my head, that world of dreams, make believe and fantasy. It began early in my childhood. As a young man I would lay in the grass, gazing into the blue sky, dreaming of another time and place. I could also lay on my couch and fantasize of being the newest rock start or sports hero. We all dream dreams but none of us are able to live in those fantasy worlds because they only exist in our minds. Even as an adult dreamland can be a place I go when avoiding life, not wanting to face it. When I do, I find no peace. However, when I engage in life, face it’s challenges, put in the work towards fulfilling them, these dreams are no longer just fantasy but become reality. And, with that I find peace.