After arriving at the Starry Night coffee shop and settling into my favorite chair, I realized I’d forgotten my phone. I’ve done this now a couple times over the past two weeks. It was interesting (almost frightening) to observe how often I reached for that phone but more frightening at how often I thought about it. These two episodes have sent a loud message as to how attached I am to that small device, as if its tendrils are wrapped around me. I made it through the two hours without it, no one got hurt and I actually was able to spend more time in my journal. Out of curiosity, I checked when I got home with the Screen Time Report on my phone (be warned of what that report may tell you) and it told me I was staring at the screen for an average of 2 hours and 56 minutes last week. In a posture of justification, at least 40 minutes a day is attributed to my meditation timer but still… In my mind this tells me I spend 2 hours a day not present to the world around me. Pretty scary to realize how attached I am to that thing. It also asks the question, “How did we survive without them?” Thinking I need to write more about this. Anyway, hoping you have a great day, with or without your phone!
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Prayers and Thoughts are Welcomed
Here is another update on my health and what the doctors have planned for me. To be honest I’m not all that excited about having to deal with these health issues. But as my friend Christina says, “Life gets Lifey.” The next few days will be a busy time for me. I have a pre-op meeting/testing on Tuesday the 7th giving me instructions on preparation for surgery and what to expect. Then Thursday morning the 9th will be my final iron infusion. So far none of the infusions have had any side effects. The iron infusions are bringing my blood count numbers up except for the platelets which seem to fluctuate but in a downward direction. Because of the low platelet numbers they will be doing a bone marrow biopsy on Friday the 10th at MCR in their effort to discover what’s going on. On Monday the 13th I will be given another infusion, this one with platelets to bring the platelet numbers up. Its purpose is to prepare me for the VIV TAVR (Valve-in-Valve Transcatheter Aortic Valve Replacement) procedure/surgery scheduled for the next morning, Tuesday the 14th. Hopefully everything goes well and I will see an improvement in my anemia and the malfunctioning aortic valve. Prayers and thoughts are welcomed.
The image is from a road trip I made back in 2013. This was taken at a coffee shop in Cortez, Colorado, called the Spruce Tree Espresso house. It changed its name to Bean Tree Coffee House and is now closed. I found the door inviting and led out onto a large outdoor patio area. I think it would be interesting to revisit these coffee shops, if they are still open, and see how they have changed, or not.
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… my day
“I’m starting to think this world is just a place for us to learn that we need each other more than we want to admit.”
Richelle E. GoodrichAs I walked up to the door at Mugs this morning the sun was just cresting the buildings on campus, offering me a much needed good morning wink, which made my day! A half hour earlier the sky was ablaze with a red sunrise, which brightened my day! After quiet time and some journaling I made my way to meet a friend for coffee and conversation, which enriched my day! I felt such gratitude when I returned home. First, because I have a large and supportive group of friends in my life. And, second because I’m at a place in life where I need that support. And, I’m aware that allowing others to help is helping them in return. Snow predicted for tomorrow afternoon. Hoping you have a wonderful day!
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Hanging on
Some days the best we can do is just hang on.
We received about 5-6 inches from this storm this past Wednesday. Now we are in for several days of variable cloudy days, cold temperatures, low teens at night and not much above 32 degrees for our daily highs. The snow will stay around with those conditions. Hope you had a good week, enjoy your weekend and hang in there.
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A Look at Shadows
“The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.”
Carl JungThe sun shines brightly this morning casting shadows all around me. I watch the tree’s shadows stretching across the street outside the window of the coffee shop. Shadows fall upon these pages as I journal. And, on the wall next to me I see my ever present shadow. Quite handsome I must say. And, as with many photographers, shadows are a subject of interest for me. I share many images of shadows on this blog.
Additionally in my practice of self-examination along with prayer and meditation I’ve come to know those dark aspects of my personality as present and real, what Jung is referring to as our shadow side. Discovering the dark aspects of my shadow side reminds me of the enjoyable task of learning more about myself and eliminating or reducing those that are negative and harmful. I’m grateful for shadows as a subject to photograph but also because they remind me there is yet more to know about myself. Time to post this as the setting sun is casting long shadows across my front yard. The end of another day.
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More Gratitude
“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing… not healing, not curing… that is a friend who cares.”
Henri NouwenThankfully, I had the best night of sleep in three weeks. 😊 Awoke to a lovely fog which is not as prevalent in our area as they are in the east. This is taken at the CSU Oval near one of my favorite coffee shops about 10:00. It has a feeling of mystery to it. The sun burned off the fog about 11:00 am offering us blue skies and sunshine. I am in a much better place today with life. It is easy to awfulize the future which is what I was doing yesterday. I find myself with more gratitude today. Hope you have a great day! In reference to the quote, I pray to be that kind of friend.
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My Reality of Life
This morning I noticed a young man in his early thirties strutting into the coffee shop1I am aware that I was immediately judgmental of him but this brought up some wonderful questions to ask myself and journal about it. His entrance was noticeable because of his tough guy walk. The demeanor offered a feeling of toughness, don’t mess with me attitude. Nor was I the only one who turned and noticed. As he ordered his drink it was then that I noticed he was packing a gun on his right side. So, the next time I see a police officer walk into a coffee shop wearing their weapons I’ll check to see if they have the same strut.
Anyway, this gave me some fodder for my journaling and also stirred this posting. What or who is he afraid of? Was his reality of life that foundationally scary and insecure? Did he feel the half dozen customers were possible enemies and that he needed to protect himself at any cost? I personally have never in my 20 some years of coffee shop life encountered a wild beast in a coffee shop. I have seen a dog or two. About the only life they could point a weapon at is another person.
My reality of life presents something different. Seems I have more fear, and am at a greater risk, from the driver who is trying to text message and drive at the same time than I do of being shot in a coffee shop. And, I also have more fear of politicians, corporate executives, and the wealthy who will do anything to attain more money, power and control due to the fear they will lose what they have or not attain what they want. And, in all honesty, I have a fear of the person packing the gun and how they will use the weapon under a stressful situation, will they use it with reactionary fear.
To end this post I must say we have no idea of the life experiences, the physical, sexual, verbal, emotional abuse and violence, others have had in life that presents their reality of life as threatening. So in my journaling and writing of this post I find gratitude for the life I have lived, the safety and security my family and community gave me and continue to give me and the innate goodness I see in this world. Reaffirms my belief that packing a gun will not prevent violence or put an end to violence and damn sure it will not bring peace.