This is my newest fountain pen, a pearl colored Lamy Logo with a fine nib. The ink is Diamine Grey, which closely matches the color of the pen, and the journal is an A5 size Moleskin. However, the words are mine. They speak of the struggles and joys of life, sometimes asking questions of why. The words offer gratitude. The words attempt to express what and how I see this world. They are simply prayer.
I leave this morning on my road trip and house sitting adventure. I plan on camping at the Great Sand Dunes National Park this evening then camping tomorrow night at Canyon de Chelly National Monument. And, I’ll probably write about it in this journal as well as on this blog. Looking forward to spending time with my parents and sister and brother-in-law. Let it begin. 🙂
An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him angry at a friend who he felt had done him an injustice, “Let me tell you a story…
I too, at times, have felt a great resentment for those who have taken so much,with no seeming sorrow or remorse for what they do. I have struggled with these feelings many times.” The grandfather continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me engaged in a challenging conflict.”
“One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. He does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.
Sometimes, it is a challenge to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit. The same challenge is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Do you ever stop to ponder….which wolf inside of you do you feed more?
Hopefully I’m nourishing the “good” wolf while being compassionate and accepting of the “bad” wolf because they both exist within me…and denying either one of them only makes it more passionate to make its existence known. Everything that happens in life provides me with an opportunity for growth. I think the challenge at times is whether or not I am willing to listen to both wolves and see what lessons they are teaching me together.
“In order to move forward, you will have to stumble along the way, but every falter in your stride just makes your next step even stronger.” ― Lindsay Chamberlin
I stumbled on one of my walks this past week. Of ocurse the first thing I did was check to see who saw me. Luckily, there were no witnesses. I then looked down to see what I’d tripped over but there was nothing. I literally stumbled over nothing. I just failed to properly place one foot in front of the other as I walked. And, no, I was not looking at my phone but my mind had fluttered off somewhere. I had moved away from being mindful and present to my walk. Nor, can I tell you where it fluttered. Happens more often than I want to admit.
Stumbling can unexpectedly bring us new discoveries, excitement, joys and lessons. And, sometimes stumbling can unexpectedly bring pain, sadness, regret and lessons. But, when we stumble and fall, it’s vital to get back up and dust off the pants, check for witnesses, take note of the reason we stumbled and hopefully learn from any lessons. Stumbling and falling are lessons.
Anyway, if the next time you stumble and there is a witness, give’em a smile and tell them you intended to do that. 🙂
This quilt was made and given to me over 8 years ago by a good friend, Judith. She was in the final stages of melanoma cancer and died a few weeks after giving me this. It now sits on my rocker and is part of my sanctuary. It was part of her process of letting go and passing along a piece of her. That makes it more than just a handmade quilt.
It is a good rule after reading a new book, never to allow yourself another new one till you have read an old one in between.
C.S. Lewis
I bought a kindle e-reader about five years ago and fell in love with it. It ignited a fire to read more. Prior to this purchase I read few books, 2-3 a year. Most of my reading consisted of reading books required for school assignments, books on spirituality/religions and a few photography books in my attempt to improve at the craft. I was never interested in novels and still that way. I may read a novel every couple years.
I now have an appreciation for books. I love spending time at the library (that’s where I’m at now) or a book store getting my hands of a few. One of the draws to the Bean Cycle Coffeehouse in Old Town is the nonprofit book store they have. Sometimes I’ll take my latte upstairs, grab a book and skim through part of one. I’ve bought one book from them and donated a few I’ve finished and do not want to keep in my library.
Started another journal on October 5th. This is my 22nd book since my first journal entry back on October 7, 1990. The first entry consisted of five sentences at a time of struggle. There was a lot going on inside mading it difficult to express myself in any coherent way. I wrote about a struggling marriage, family issues, job changes, entering into another unnecessary war and the downward spiral of our society. That was 24 years ago. The marriage ended 9 months later. There are still family issues, I’m now retired, we’re still senselessly killing and our society still has a broken thinker.
I’ve noticed my writing style has changed. I’m not writing to necessarily find answers but to pursue other questions. My journals are a mix of diaries, writings to a Higher Power (God) and co-authored with him. My audience is for family and friends as well as myself. The journals have been therapy for me. Some things I write and then read back over can enlighten me to a deeper knowledge of myself and allow for an acceptance of the world around me. I find it brings clarity, focus, slows down my troubled thinker and helps organize it. It has become an important part of my life. Now, if I could put words in some sort of coherency instead of feeling like I’m babbling.
Technology has added much to our lives but along with it has come side effects. First, we’re so accustomed to these technologies that life would seem unbearable without them: electricity, gas, clean water, supermarkets, medicines, etc. And, arguably, some side effects may cause more harm than benefit. We have come to feel our luxuries are really necessities such as television, microwaves, phones, automobiles, etc. Can’t live without them. But can we?
I was taking in all the beauty while walking the path along Spring Creek when I realized I could not enjoy this beauty without the my glasses. For me my glasses are both a luxury and necessity. I had to laugh and knew I wanted to write about it. But first, I wanted to know who invented or discovered eyeglasses? Using one of my other technological tools I did a google search.
Wikipedia states: The earliest written record of magnification dates back to the 1st century AD, when Seneca the Younger, a tutor of Emperor Nero of Rome, wrote: “Letters, however small and indistinct, are seen enlarged and more clearly through a globe or glass filled with water”. Thus began the invention of using optics so “I” could see on my walk. Without optical technology I would not be looking at the world through my glasses or camera or writing this post. And, that would not be a good thing. 🙂
