sunshine and warmer temperatures at mid afternoon
mws
inspired me to wander outside with my camera
shadows stretching as fingers across the open snow
an invitation to compose and press the shutter button
gift accepted
gift accepted
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More Patience
The mind is but a visitor;
Rilke’s Book of Hours: I, 51
it thinks us out of our world.I saw last night that the morning hours could have scattered clouds so I drove to Pineridge Natural Area thinking nature could offer me some colors. I waited for a few minutes in the cold penetrating wind but my thinking mind, who Rilke suggests will think us out of our world, told me nothing was going to happen and a better choice would be to head for the coffee shop. By the time I was halfway there that pink streak you see on the horizon burst into a blazing pink sky. Sigh! This post actually follows up with yesterday’s post about going out with my camera and seeing what nature offers. Seems there’s a need for patience, even in a cold wind, to see what nature has to offer. Oh well, I enjoyed my mocha and told myself, tomorrow morning. And, it has been overcast and windy all day.
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Looking For Me
I have been sitting here resting
Ted Kooser, Winter Morning Walks
after my morning stroll, and the sun
in its soft yellow work gloves
has come in through the window
and is feeling around on the opposite wall
looking for me, having seen me
cheerfully walking along the road
just as it rose, having followed me home
to see what I have to be happy about.Another bitter cold morning at -8 degrees. However, the forecast is promising. I’m liking Kooser’s poetry in this new book called Winter Morning Walks recommended by Joe. Stay warm!
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Something New
It is bitter cold this morning. My weather app said it was 3 degrees and my car’s dashboard said 3 degrees when I left for the coffee shop at 7:02 am. Two hours later it says zero degrees. It’s going the wrong way. We are looking at 2-3 days of this cold. I’m home and in for the rest of the day!!! Okay, enough about the cold and on to something new.
This something new is a new Pelikan M205 Apatite Special Edition Demonstrator fountain pen. This past year Pelikan announced the Edelstein Apatite ink for 2022. Since I’ve been pleased with the seven Pelikan pens I already have, I didn’t even know this new ink or pen had come out until a week ago. After all, I can only write with one pen at a time. 😳 Needless to say, I fell in love with this color immediately. The pen is the newest in a series of eight demonstrator pens they have come out with since 2015. I only have one other demonstrator, the Smoky Quartz, which came out in 2017. All my other M200x pens are a marble swirl. Pelikan calls the Apatite color a Turquoise-Blue and is part of the M205 series which has the silver trim rather than gold. It is also a part of their gemstone inspired models that have been a popular mainstay of the company’s annual line-up. Apatite is a phosphate mineral which was first discovered in 1786 by the German geologist A.G. Werner. As a demonstrator pen you are able to see the internal piston and ink which I like. 👍 Being a special edition the price was higher than I wanted but…. So far I like the looks of the pen, the nib (medium) writes wonderfully and the ink shades well while pleasing to my eyes. So, my task now is to find all the words hidden within this pen by putting pen to paper in my journals. Enough gibberish from me. Stay warm and enjoy your day!!
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Stay Warm
the warm sunlight enters my bedroom window,
mws
with shadows in contrast to the suns rays of happiness
the morning begins
clouds quietly move in and gray skies begin to dominate,
promising a blanket of snow and cold temperatures
the change begins
without fanfare old man winter makes an appearance,
and in the silence we listen for the first snowflakes
the snow begins -
Being in the Moment
“Fear, like any other strong emotion, can make us exquisitely conscious of living, perfectly aware of being in the moment. It can only do that, however, on those rare occasions when we don’t try to fight it, run away from it, cope with it, suppress it, tame it, or otherwise domesticate it.”
Gerald May -
Squirrel of Worry
Sometimes when things are going well,
Ted Kooser, Winter Morning Walks, page 48
the daredevil squirrel of worry
suddenly leaps from the back of my head
to the feeder, swings by his paws
and clambers up, twitching his question mark tail.
And though I try the recommended baffles —
tin cone of meditation, greased pipe
of positive thought — every sunflower seed
in this life is his if he wants it.Well, I did not receive the news I wanted to hear from my cardiologist yesterday. The valve is in the severe stage and something needs to be done. The valve that was replaced 4 years ago is, in the doctor’s opinion, too small for my body which is why it failed so early. An echocardiogram 1 month post TAVR echo shows elevated MG of 26mmHg and Vmax of 3.27m/s, consistent with PPM. Which in doctor speak says the valve is already struggling. So, they are recommending I meet with a cardiothoracic surgeon for a possible SAVR (open heart surgery again) with a root enlargement, making that opening larger to accommodate a larger replacement valve. I have an Left Heart Cath set for Feb 13th then meet with the surgeon on the 15th. If the cardiothoracic surgeon does not think I’m a good candidate for whatever reason, the groin procedure is still an option but they’d still be looking at a valve that is too small. Not what I want. My next appointment is with the Hematologist to look at my low Platelet numbers. They say I’m thrombocytopenia.
Again, it’s not the news I wanted but it’s what I have. Another opportunity to live in the present moment by keeping an eye on my feet and wiggling my toes.
About the image and poem by Ted Kooser. I’ve encountered this squirrel of worry throughout my life and in the past 4 weeks it has been quite busy. I must admit all my worries are based in fear (False Evidence Appearing Real). I do my best to face these worries as part of life by finding quiet time, practicing prayer and meditation, spending time in nature and reaching out to a listening ear or being that listening ear. Avoiding my fears or denying them has never been a solution. Hoping you’re having a great Wednesday!
