• clouds,  landscape,  quotes

    Longing to Grow

    We have within us a deep longing to grow and become a new creature, but we possess an equally strong compulsion to remain – to burrow down in our safe, secure places.

    Sue Monk Kidd

    We received a dusting of snow during the night and into early morning. The sun then tried its best to break through but to no avail. It has been cold all day, not going above 32 degrees. It’s a perfect day for another bowl of chili soup I made yesterday. Stay warm!

    I drove up around Horsetooth Reservoir yesterday watching the sky and her clouds, hoping to find some scenes in my viewfinder. These horses are on a large ranch near Bellvue. When I first pulled up they all looked up at me than decided I was harmless.

    I have read that any addictive behaviors has a potential to stunt our growth. We will pick up our addictive behavior rather than live life and all of its challenges, or as the quote says, “to burrow down in our safe, secure places.” I did that through daydreaming and alcohol. There always seemed to be some thought convincing me that avoidance was a softer, easier way to live. Over twenty years ago it became apparent such thinking was one of the many lies I believed and was not working. I now know facing challenges is the softer, easier way in life. That does not prevent me from wanting to turn away once in a while. Yet, each time I face life there’s the gift of growth, maturity, wisdom, strength which always seems to make me ready for the next challenge.

    Yesterday I received word that a friend I’ve known for nearly 30 years died unexpectedly. It is always a shock to receive such news. I cried. Then I felt the gratitude for her life! I cried again. I’ll probably cry more and that’s some of the growth essential in life, moving me to become who I am! I know some of you can relate as we all grieve!

  • journal,  landscape,  natural areas,  Plants,  sunsets,  trees,  writing/reading

    Winds of Change

    Some of you know I’m living in recovery from alcoholism. If not, you do now. I read a question today that caused me to reflect on my life now that I have a bit of time in recovery. The question was, “What are the important things in my recovery?” Here’s a short list from journaling this morning.

    • living life using the principles of the 12 Steps
    • daily practice of prayer and meditation
    • healing physically, emotionally and spiritually
    • healing of broken relationships and birthing of new relationships
    • experiencing a Higher Power from within
    • able to be more present to life and more often
    • true honesty with others
    • learning to be a better listener, thus a better communicator
    • coming to know my true and authentic self
    • practicing a thorough and authentic daily self-examination
    • seeing with the eyes of my heart
    • uncovering my unhealthy character defects
    • living with and accepting all my emotions
    • the enjoyment of solitude and silence
    • using journaling as letters, prayers, asking deep questions 
    • discovering my value as a human and the value of others
    • uncovering and using the talents and gifts given to me at my conception
    • finding and using my inner observer

    This morning was quite windy. When I stepped outside about 7:00 am, I needed to pause and listen to the wind blowing through the trees. I smiled as the wind blew leaves from branches, enjoying their rustling dance across the ground. I took a deep breath, filled with hope and excitement, because the wind was a metaphor for the winds of change blowing in our world.