• poems

    Facing the Coming Storms

    We will be known as a culture that feared death
    and adored power, that tried to vanquish insecurity
    for the few and cared little for the penury of the
    many. We will be known as a culture that taught
    and rewarded the amassing of things, that spoke
    little if at all about the quality of life for
    people, for dogs, for rivers. All
    the world, in our eyes, they will say, was a
    commodity. And they will say that this structure
    was held together politically, which it was, and
    they will say also that our politics was no more
    than an apparatus to accommodate the feelings of
    the heart, and that the heart, in those days,
    was small, and hard, and full of meanness.

    Mary Oliver
    Red Bird (2008)

    I’ll begin by saying it seems the majority of the world does not have the ability to develop relationships, even with themselves. I’m not sure I could 20 years ago. There is more focus on ourselves, our wants and a fear of losing what we already have. Relationships ask us to step out of our comfort zones and change. Thus, we have a world in constant turmoil and conflict with seemingly few solutions and people become disheartened. 

    I have changed throughout my life and hopefully for the better. Some changes have come from pain and suffering and some from asking questions that uncover self-knowledge already within me. I attribute some of that to my journaling. Many of those pages are filled with questions. Wonderfully each question leads to another question and another and another…. Can I look for the similarities in others rather than differences? Can I accept that I am not the center of the universe but a small, significant part of all of creation? Can I have the courage to believe others may have more to teach me than I have to teach them, requiring me to always remain a student? Can I believe peace starts within me, the small world I can touch and then spreads outward, not the other way? Can I be willing to take action in my life to stand up against any neglect, abuse, and stigmatization of all creation? Can I respect all of life? Can I change my way of living without expecting the rest of the world to change with me? I’ve become a firm believer that once there is a psychic change within anyone’s life they and the world around them change. And, what about this thing called forgiveness? How well do I forgive? Contrary to some, true change always starts with me! Having said that, can I now, like the mosquito in a tent, believe that I can make an impact on the world no matter how insignificant that may seem? Am I willing to take the risk to change, to be attacked by those who cannot relate or maybe unwilling to change themselves? History has shown that some have paid a high price when they change or suggest that we can change. We call them prophets. So, instead of living with a heart that is small, hard and full of meanness, I am seeking a larger heart that is soft and full of love. Can I believe my few words and actions can bring about change? Can I be the tree that stands on the ridge facing the storms of life?

  • clouds,  landscape,  quotes,  sunrises

    The bumps are less dramatic…

    If we lived close to nature in an agricultural society, the seasons as metaphor and fact would continually frame our lives. But the master metaphor of our era does not come from agriculture – it comes from manufacturing. We do not believe that we ‘grow’ our lives – we believe that we ‘make’ them. Just listen to how we use the word in everyday speech: we make time, make friends, make meaning, make money, make a living, make love.

    Parker J. Palmer

    On my way to the coffee shop I just had to stop at campus and accept this image of the morning’s sunrise. It was a deep red minutes prior to taking this image. It is a much warmer day for us here in Colorado. The kind of day to be expected because it is the season of winter.

    I’ve read this quote before and agree that many in our culture no longer see themselves as growing into our lives but think we make our lives. I’m one of those. I tried to make my life happy but discovered the daily struggle to control my life and those around me wasn’t working. I’m finding it much more enjoyable to face life for what it is, gradually gaining in wisdom what I can change and what I can’t. My prayer is to continually grow in the discovery of who I am becoming. Part of growing in life is growing older, which includes all the positive stuff and the negative stuff. And, it seems when I stop trying to make my life into my wishes, I have more choices in growing into my life. The bumps are less dramatic and chaotic. Stay warm and dry!

  • leaves,  quotes

    Never Doubt

    “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

    Margaret Mead

    Clouds began rolling in just before noon. Forecast is for snow later tonight and into tomorrow and bitter cold, with a wind chill warning of 40 below. The cold is expected to hang around over the next 3 days. I did make it to a coffee shop this morning. And, believe it or not there were a few brave bicyclists out on this blustery day. I’m not that brave or maybe I’m wiser. I took this image of a backlit leaf a week ago. I assume the leaf is most likely in Kansas or beyond by now. Stay warm and hang on to your hat.

  • leaves,  quotes

    The Constance of Change

    “A self that goes on changing is a self that goes on living,”

    Virginia Woolf

    Not many people enjoy changes. In fact some of us will fight against change. Yet, I’ve found change is where transformation takes place in our lives. I don’t ask for changes in my life because they can be difficult to move through but they are the only constant in my life. If I want transformation in my life then I must accept changing as part of that. It is cold this morning as it seems to be in most of the US. Enjoy your day and stay warm!

  • fall season,  leaves,  Plants,  seasons

    Telling on Myself

    I’m telling on myself. Thursday morning I took a few images at Pineridge Natural Area of the predawn light. I did not shoot many images, making 7 compositions, placing the horizon in the various locations in the frame. When I loaded them on the computer at home they were all underexposed. I then discovered I had set the camera in manual mode yesterday and never checked the exposure. I made a critical assumption the camera would take care of everything, all I had to do was make the composition. Wrong. Way too much dependance on the camera and not checking my settings!

    A lot of seasonal changes are taking place here in Colorado. As the nights get longer and there’s less sunlight, leaves stop making chlorophyll, losing their green colors, some change to yellow, orange, red, brown and gray. These leaves will freeze in winter, so the trees are letting go, allowing them to decompose and restock the soil with nutrients for next spring. I love this time of the year and this process of dying to renew life.

    I attended my 55th class reunion dinner last night and enjoyed catching up with them. One facet of reunions is finding out more have died than I knew about. Just the same we get to reminisce about our youth. I’m leaving a few minutes to attend today’s picnic. I am finding it interesting how little I really knew about my classmates and the erroneous assumptions I had about them in high school. And that is also true of how they perceived me. Many thought they didn’t fit in. Just like me! Fascinating to me.

  • natural areas,  Pineridge Natural Area,  poems,  poetry,  seasons,  winter scenes

    It Is Enough

    A couple inches of wet snow fell during the night, the best kind.
    Took this on my way home from the coffee shop at Pineridge Natural Area.

    Half of me is filled with bursting words
    and half of me is painfully shy.
    I crave solitude yet also crave people.
    I want to pour life and love into everything
    yet also nurture my self-care and go gently.
    I want to live within the rush of primal, intuitive decision,
    yet also wish to sit and contemplate.

    This is the messiness of life – that we all carry multitudes,
    so must sit with the shifts.
    We are complicated creatures, and ultimately,
    the balance comes from this understanding.

    Be water.
    Flowing, flexible and soft.
    Subtly powerful and open.
    Wild and serene.
    Able to accept all changes,
    yet still led by the pull of steady tides.

    It is enough.

    Victoria Erickson

    I also experience the messiness of life she talks about in the above quote, those constant changes, challenges and especially the surprises. At this time of my life these changes and challenges are becoming more acceptable and in many ways I’m eager to face them with all the gifts and talents I’ve attained in life so far. Some of these challenges have become adventures. Not sure I would have said that 20 years ago but I do now. Hope you enjoy this quote by Victoria Erickson. I especially like this line, “I want to live within the rush of primal, intuitive decision, yet also wish to sit and contemplate.” Hope you have a great weekend!

  • coffee shops,  consumer,  fountain pens,  journal,  journaling,  writing/reading

    Lifestyle Changes

    The Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, is quoted as saying “change is the only constant in life.” I believe he’s right. Some lifestyle changes we make on our own while some changes are forced upon us. Lifestyle changes can happen when we change jobs, move to another community, decide to marry, retire, live a non-consumer lifestyle, get rid of the TV, new eating habits and more. Yet, there are some changes that come upon us unexpectedly and unwanted, such as divorce, death of spouse, parent, child, natural disasters, health issues, war and more. Each time we face one of these changes we are given the opportunity to make choices on how we respond. How we respond to them is the bigger question. 

    I’m at a place where I’m facing lifestyle changes due to health issues. The reality of my mortality is very real today. Since the present is where I must live, I’m given the opportunity to face these lifestyle changes and make choices that can be rewarding. My hope is to live life with a new and positive attitude, no matter what. Pretty sure I’m preaching to the choir but I needed to write it and maybe it is a thought provoking post.