There is a tendency for me to live in my head, that world of dreams, make believe and fantasy. It began early in my childhood. As a young man I would lay in the grass, gazing into the blue sky, dreaming of another time and place. I could also lay on my couch and fantasize of being the newest rock start or sports hero. We all dream dreams but none of us are able to live in those fantasy worlds because they only exist in our minds. Even as an adult dreamland can be a place I go when avoiding life, not wanting to face it. When I do, I find no peace. However, when I engage in life, face it’s challenges, put in the work towards fulfilling them, these dreams are no longer just fantasy but become reality. And, with that I find peace.
May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.
Greeting the pre-dawn sunrise and soft pink clouds
Right now I have three options available in getting into a Class B. Option 1 would be purchasing a new Class B that would run from $150k to $200k with the options I’d like. Option 2 would be buying a used van probably costing from $60k to $100k for one I’d be happy with. Option 3 would be letting go of this dream and not buying a van which would cost me $0.
My financial history is not something to brag about. I made decent money working as an engineer but had no skills in managing that money. I spent many years spending foolishly while pursuing the pleasures of life. Therefore my retirement years are being spent with minimal cash. For the past 6 years I’ve been living on my social security checks, leaving my retirement funds for when I reach the 72 year marker or for some unforeseen emergency, which I’ve needed to do. My miniscule savings is gone. 😞
With that said, options 1 and 2 would be possible only if I sold my condo, bought the van and placed the remaining small (tiny) equity in some fund/investment or I win the lottery. Selling my condo is not the best financial move and for several reasons.
I have no idea how long I would I travel in a Class B? Since I’ve never done it before, would I like the lifestyle? I’m also over 70 so I’m unsure how long I will stay healthy. If I knew that living in a Class B was something I would do until I took that last breath then I’d go for it. It’s almost a guarantee that someday I will be needing my home back. Soselling my condo is too high a risk for me.
So, at the present moment owning a Class B is a dream that is almost daily in my mind but at the present time is unattainable. I wish I could let it go and live with what I have, which really is enough. Because the life I live now allows me to rise early and greet the dawn with my camera without the need for a van. From a financial standpoint it’s a dream that is not feasible for me unless a large sum of money fell from the sky. And, that’s why I buy a lottery ticket every so often and dream. 😃
Clouds are nature’s way of asking us to pay attention to the art it creates
“The wanderer is one who gives priority to the duties of longing over belonging. No abode is fixed. No one place is allowed finally to corner or claim the wanderer. A new horizon always calls. The wanderer is committed to the adventure of seeing new places and discovering new things.”
John O’Donohue, Eternal Echoes
I’ve had the bug to travel for many years. I’ve shared stories about my travels before on this blog and talked about some of the travel I still want to do. I would like to write more about it, maybe finding some clarity, sorta like talking it through. I’m not sure I’ll be able express my desires and dreams about travel or if I even have enough understanding on what those are. There is a part of me that relates to the wanderer John O’Donohue writes about in the above quote.
Some of my travel history includes touring on a motorcycle and road trips in my car while camping along the road. I’ve also spent seven years living in hotels working and living a nomadic life as flight attendant. And, photography has been a integral part of each of those adventures. I’ve very much enjoyed each of those adventures. But there’s still a yearning for more.
So over the next few days or weeks I want to share some ideas and questions I have that run through my head. I know some of you have traveled or are traveling so there is experience among my readers. I welcome any and all comments, even if you think I’m insane.
Sunset over the Colorado Front Range
Well Fujifilm did it again. Yesterday they announced the new Fujifilm X-T30. Of course this is the perfect camera for me and in a price range I can afford. And, we know it will make me a better photographer. 🙂 So, in my mind is a debate on whether to sell one of my grandchildren, my car or my condo, rob a bank, take out a second mortgage, buy another lottery ticket, and other insane ideas.
But, getting back to reality and sanity, I have to admit my Fujifilm X-E1 and my X-T10 are good cameras, functioning well, take excellent images (in spite of my sometimes ineptitude) and are paid for. So, the need to upgrade to this camera is not as much a priority as other pressing priorities in my photography and life. The truth is my next purchase needs to be upgrading my laptop. I’ve been talking about this for some time. It is 10 years old. This past week my laptop shutdown and rebooted and seems to runs slower each week. But the primary justification for a upgrading my laptop is knowing it will make me a better photographer by improving my post-processing skills. 🙂
So my insanity tells me to be a better photographer, with an empty wallet, I really should just buy both. Sigh! GAS
