• clouds,  landscape,  prairie,  snow,  sunrises

    Life is not like that…

    Sunrise in eastern Colorado

    I felt a strong emotion rise to the surface while on my bus ride this morning. Tears welled up in my eyes, not from sadness or pain but more along the lines of some feeling of love. What is strange about this feeling of love is because of an incident of anger that happened 15 minutes earlier while leaving the condo. I was running a couple minutes late and if I didn’t hustle I would miss the bus which would cause me to have to wait a half hour for the next bus. As I grabbed the doorknob I remembered I needed to get my renewed bus pass out of the pocket of my backpack and felt the anxiety within. As I took the backpack off I got tangled up with the straps and my anxiety burst into anger and choice words (#@&!). Almost immediately after hearing the words come out of my mouth and noticed my  increased emotions, I took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled. I ask myself what was I really angry at? It was sure not the backpacks fault. This led to a few moments of reflection. While walking to the bus stop I became aware of how much I wanted the world to run smoothly all the time, especially for me. But, the reality is life is not like that.

    Then while on the bus I observed these students solemnly heading to class and wondered what they may be going through. I could see some to be stressed out with school or worried about some relationship that is struggling. Maybe there are health problems in their life, theirs or family. No one’s life runs smoothly all the time nor is there a reason to expect it. The real question is how we face and deal with life. For me the feeling of love on the bus was for those who may be going through much more than getting tangled up their backpack. I have much to learn. Sigh! If you read this far, thanks for listening.

  • grass,  landscape,  natural areas,  quotes

    Praying for peace and forgiveness…

    Smooth waters on the Poudre River

    It takes courage to forgive someone who has wronged us. Because we are often so caught up in our egos that forgiving seems like losing an egoistic battle. But sometimes we have to take the high road with forgiveness, both for the other person and for our own wellbeing. Sure wish more egos were right sized and forgiveness more acceptable.

  • Art/Design,  Creativity,  fog,  lake,  landscape,  musings,  natural areas,  quotes

    Living with Mystery

    Morning fog shrouding the dam at Hoover Reservoir in Westerville, Ohio

    “A great photograph is a distillation, a reduction of the chaos of our wider experience to a visually satisfying essence where what is excluded is as important as what is included.” David Ward

    I have no clue as to why I took this image almost 10 years ago. It’s lost in time. It could have been my creative voice within or my attempt to duplicate an image I’ve seen before or the mystery it evokes or all the above. Today it makes no difference because I see this image taken almost 10 years ago with my eyes of the present moment. And, how it will speak to me in 10 years from now can only be know then.

    So, what do I see now after 10 years?  This image popped out to me immediately. I find this image to be very minimal as much of what could be seen is hidden within mystery. It has soft visuals line leading me into that mystery. There is someone standing on the dam seemingly lost in their thoughts, gazing into the mystery and yet there is a serene and peaceful feel to all of this. What it evokes is an awareness of how I feel much more comfort in living with mystery than I did 10 years ago. Enough rambling. Now what are your thoughts?

  • Black and White,  flowers,  lifestyles,  Plants,  writing/reading

    Acceptance and Gratitude

    Daises on Campus
    Daisies on Campus

    There are days when my inner peace is troubled or just not there. It can be due to the political environment and struggles of our world, a troubled relationship in my life, my weight, a task I really do not want to do, traffic, road construction, money (the lack of it). I could go on but I’m sure you have your own list. Sometimes I find myself thinking I’d have more peace if I did more walking, got more rest, spent more time in prayer and mediation, more solitude, more….  a lack of something? Then at some moment of clarity I stop and laugh at myself. More is not my answer, although this culture wants to convince me it is. I’ve come to realize it’s not the wants that bring peace and serenity but it’s the acceptance and gratitude of what I already have. And, maybe having less will allow more peace, letting go of something(s). 

  • Plants,  quotes,  spirituality

    A Spiritual Way of Life

    20090427-_dsc9512
    Spiritual Light

    “If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know  peace, No matter how far down the scale we have  gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others, That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.” Alcoholics Anonymous

  • quotes,  spirituality,  writing/reading

    Our Inner Life

    The Inner Life

    It is useless to try to make peace with ourselves by being pleased with everything we have done. In order to settle down in the quiet of our own being we must learn to be detached from the results of our own activity. We must withdraw ourselves, to some extent, from effects that are beyond our control and be content with the good will and the work that are the quiet expression of our inner life. We must be content to live without watching ourselves live, to work without any instantaneous satisfaction, and to exist without any special recognition.

    New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton