My online journal sharing interests in photography, nature, coffee life, journaling, fountain pens, bicycling, spirituality and asking deep questions.
the warm sunlight enters my bedroom window,
mws
with shadows in contrast to the suns rays of happiness
the morning begins
clouds quietly move in and gray skies begin to dominate,
promising a blanket of snow and cold temperatures
the change begins
without fanfare old man winter makes an appearance,
and in the silence we listen for the first snowflakes
the snow begins
Sometimes when things are going well,
Ted Kooser, Winter Morning Walks, page 48
the daredevil squirrel of worry
suddenly leaps from the back of my head
to the feeder, swings by his paws
and clambers up, twitching his question mark tail.
And though I try the recommended baffles —
tin cone of meditation, greased pipe
of positive thought — every sunflower seed
in this life is his if he wants it.
Well, I did not receive the news I wanted to hear from my cardiologist yesterday. The valve is in the severe stage and something needs to be done. The valve that was replaced 4 years ago is, in the doctor’s opinion, too small for my body which is why it failed so early. An echocardiogram 1 month post TAVR echo shows elevated MG of 26mmHg and Vmax of 3.27m/s, consistent with PPM. Which in doctor speak says the valve is already struggling. So, they are recommending I meet with a cardiothoracic surgeon for a possible SAVR (open heart surgery again) with a root enlargement, making that opening larger to accommodate a larger replacement valve. I have an Left Heart Cath set for Feb 13th then meet with the surgeon on the 15th. If the cardiothoracic surgeon does not think I’m a good candidate for whatever reason, the groin procedure is still an option but they’d still be looking at a valve that is too small. Not what I want. My next appointment is with the Hematologist to look at my low Platelet numbers. They say I’m thrombocytopenia.
Again, it’s not the news I wanted but it’s what I have. Another opportunity to live in the present moment by keeping an eye on my feet and wiggling my toes.
About the image and poem by Ted Kooser. I’ve encountered this squirrel of worry throughout my life and in the past 4 weeks it has been quite busy. I must admit all my worries are based in fear (False Evidence Appearing Real). I do my best to face these worries as part of life by finding quiet time, practicing prayer and meditation, spending time in nature and reaching out to a listening ear or being that listening ear. Avoiding my fears or denying them has never been a solution. Hoping you’re having a great Wednesday!
again amazed at nature’s flair
mws
as she creates her shared gifts
the earth becomes her canvas while
spreading a tapestry of leaves
that entice the eyes of the heart
A major winter storm is impacting our area. Snow began falling yesterday evening. Looks like we have 3-4 inches this morning and it’s expected to continue snowing throughout the day. Seems the worst of the snow will be farther east. I have an appointment for a CT scan this afternoon and hope the roads are in good condition by then. I took this image a couple days ago outside my condo. I was drawn by the color and pattern. Right now I’m watching it snow from the chair in my bedroom’s bay window. May you have a super Awesome day!
life is to be lived
mws
it’s our gift to the world
so let go, fall freely
and become who we were created to be
It was bitter cold this morning, 7 degrees when I left the condo for coffee shop. Yet, clear blue skies and sunshine dominated the day. Today was winter graduation for some at Colorado State University so it was hectic around campus and a good reason to stay home. Expecting it to drop to 7 again tonight. Thankfully no wind. Stay warm and have a great day tomorrow. Live life!
The gift of a new day (I touched on that in Thursday’s post) always offers the opportunity for something new to experience that will only happen or begin on this day. I’m so much more aware of that than in my youth. So here is a list of some opportunities that pop into my mind as I write this post, which could be totally different next week. It’s short because I’m expecting each of us to add our own.
So, new days are for writing our first poem, begin or finish our autobiography, face the blank canvas of our first painting, bake our first pie and be brave enough to eat it, write our first song or maybe just the chorus, take dance lessons or dance in the rain, find the courage to ask her out for dinner, give our granddaughter her first driving lesson, develop our fist black and white print, watching our first sunrise in the desert in a state of awe, running our first marathon or accepting the fact it ain’t gonna happen at this age, begin a new adventure as we are never too old, plant a vegetable garden, learn to ride a horse or a unicycle or snowboard, and the list goes on and on….
Now through the white orchard my little dog
The Storm by Mary Oliver
romps, breaking the new snow
with wild feet.
Running here running there, excited,
hardly able to stop, he leaps, he spins
until the white snow is written upon
in large, exuberant letters,
a long sentence, expressing
the pleasures of the body in this world.
Oh, I could not have said it better
Winter weather is the word for the day, receiving the 3-4 inches promised. It is loaded with moisture and making road conditions bad. It was 18 degrees at about 8:30 am and not expecting to be above 22 degrees. I call that cold and the perfect day to stay in and eat leftover vegetable soup, unless your Mary Oliver’s dog.
wrapped in my blanket in the predawn darkness
ms
I read and meditate on words which
become seeds for my soul and mind
the new day offers a dusting of snow outside my window
so after my quiet time I bundle in warm clothing and
grab my backpack to venture to the coffee shop
am greeted by early-to-rise baristas as I enter the door,
they make my favorite, an Old Town mocha, extra hot,
perfect on this bleak and wet day
notice beads of water forming their own worlds
on the patio chairs warning me to sit inside
on this wintery sunday morning