• clouds,  landscape,  natural areas,  quotes,  Reservoir Ridge Natural Area,  storm clouds

    Never Lose Hope

    March 11, 2023

    “Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever.”

    Roy T. Bennett

    All went well with my bone marrow biopsy yesterday. It was quick, simple and very little pain with it. This morning I’m a bit tender around the wound site but otherwise doing fine. I will be gentle and kind with myself today. Test results will take 7-10 days. This past week I did acquire another UTI so back on antibiotics, hoping it clears up before surgery. Everything seems to be a go for surgery on Tuesday the 14th. I feel at times I am in the midst of the storm. May I not lose hope.

    This is an HDR image created in Lightroom Classic with three images at +/- one stop.

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  • poems,  poetry,  prayer,  quotes

    This Precious Planet

    March 8, 2023
    Nature’s art of fallen leaves – 2021

    May I become at all times, both now and forever,
    A protector for those without protection
    A guide for those who have lost their way
    A ship for those with oceans to cross
    A bridge for those with rivers to cross
    A sanctuary for those in danger
    A lamp for those without light
    A place of refuge for those who lack shelter
    And a servant to all in need.

    For as long as space endures,
    And for as long as living beings remain,
    Until then may I, too, abide
    To dispel the misery of the world.

    Heart to Heart: A Conversation on Love and Hope for Our Precious Planet by Dalai Lama

    It is cloudy and cold as I watch tiny snowflakes, that look more like sleet than snow, drift in the wind outside my window. While the juniper shrub outside my window gently sways with the same wind. Everything about this morning has that cold wintery look and feel to it. I find myself grateful for what I have knowing there are many who do not. It begs the question, “What can I do to dispel the misery of the world?” And, it is International Women’s Day, a day to celebrate the women in our world, embracing what they offer us and dispel the misery some of them endure. Not much on my schedule today except lunch with my oldest daughter, Christine. Stay warm!

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  • architecture,  coffee life,  coffee shops,  doors,  street photography

    Prayers and Thoughts are Welcomed

    March 6, 2023

    Here is another update on my health and what the doctors have planned for me. To be honest I’m not all that excited about having to deal with these health issues. But as my friend Christina says, “Life gets Lifey.” The next few days will be a busy time for me. I have a pre-op meeting/testing on Tuesday the 7th giving me instructions on preparation for surgery and what to expect. Then Thursday morning the 9th will be my final iron infusion. So far none of the infusions have had any side effects. The iron infusions are bringing my blood count numbers up except for the platelets which seem to fluctuate but in a downward direction. Because of the low platelet numbers they will be doing a bone marrow biopsy on Friday the 10th at MCR in their effort to discover what’s going on. On Monday the 13th I will be given another infusion, this one with platelets to bring the platelet numbers up. Its purpose is to prepare me for the VIV TAVR (Valve-in-Valve Transcatheter Aortic Valve Replacement) procedure/surgery scheduled for the next morning, Tuesday the 14th. Hopefully everything goes well and I will see an improvement in my anemia and the malfunctioning aortic valve. Prayers and thoughts are welcomed.

    The image is from a road trip I made back in 2013. This was taken at a coffee shop in Cortez, Colorado, called the Spruce Tree Espresso house. It changed its name to Bean Tree Coffee House and is now closed. I found the door inviting and led out onto a large outdoor patio area. I think it would be interesting to revisit these coffee shops, if they are still open, and see how they have changed, or not.

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  • landscape,  People/Portraits,  Self-portraits,  sunrises

    love beyond my fear…

    February 13, 2023
    A predawn self-portrait near Horsetooth Reservoir – 2012

    Wakan Tanka, Great Mystery,
    teach me how to trust
    my heart,
    my mind,
    my intuition,
    my inner knowing,
    the senses of my body,
    the blessings of my spirit.
    Teach me to trust these things
    so that I may enter my Sacred Space
    and love beyond my fear,
    and thus Walk in Balance
    with the passing of each glorious Sun.

    Lakota Prayer
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  • poems,  poetry

    Squirrel of Worry

    January 25, 2023

    Sometimes when things are going well,
    the daredevil squirrel of worry
    suddenly leaps from the back of my head
    to the feeder, swings by his paws
    and clambers up, twitching his question mark tail.
    And though I try the recommended baffles —
    tin cone of meditation, greased pipe
    of positive thought — every sunflower seed
    in this life is his if he wants it.

    Ted Kooser, Winter Morning Walks, page 48

    Well, I did not receive the news I wanted to hear from my cardiologist yesterday. The valve is in the severe stage and something needs to be done. The valve that was replaced 4 years ago is, in the doctor’s opinion, too small for my body which is why it failed so early. An echocardiogram 1 month post TAVR echo shows elevated MG of 26mmHg and Vmax of 3.27m/s, consistent with PPM. Which in doctor speak says the valve is already struggling. So, they are recommending I meet with a cardiothoracic surgeon for a possible SAVR (open heart surgery again) with a root enlargement, making that opening larger to accommodate a larger replacement valve. I have an Left Heart Cath set for Feb 13th then meet with the surgeon on the 15th. If the cardiothoracic surgeon does not think I’m a good candidate for whatever reason, the groin procedure is still an option but they’d still be looking at a valve that is too small. Not what I want. My next appointment is with the Hematologist to look at my low Platelet numbers. They say I’m thrombocytopenia.

    Again, it’s not the news I wanted but it’s what I have. Another opportunity to live in the present moment by keeping an eye on my feet and wiggling my toes.

    About the image and poem by Ted Kooser. I’ve encountered this squirrel of worry throughout my life and in the past 4 weeks it has been quite busy. I must admit all my worries are based in fear (False Evidence Appearing Real). I do my best to face these worries as part of life by finding quiet time, practicing prayer and meditation, spending time in nature and reaching out to a listening ear or being that listening ear. Avoiding my fears or denying them has never been a solution. Hoping you’re having a great Wednesday!

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  • quotes,  shadows,  street photography

    A Look at Shadows

    January 16, 2023

    “The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.”

    Carl Jung

    The sun shines brightly this morning casting shadows all around me. I watch the tree’s shadows stretching across the street outside the window of the coffee shop. Shadows fall upon these pages as I journal. And, on the wall next to me I see my ever present shadow. Quite handsome I must say. And, as with many photographers, shadows are a subject of interest for me. I share many images of shadows on this blog.

    Additionally in my practice of self-examination along with prayer and meditation I’ve come to know those dark aspects of my personality as present and real, what Jung is referring to as our shadow side. Discovering the dark aspects of my shadow side reminds me of the enjoyable task of learning more about myself and eliminating or reducing those that are negative and harmful. I’m grateful for shadows as a subject to photograph but also because they remind me there is yet more to know about myself. Time to post this as the setting sun is casting long shadows across my front yard. The end of another day.

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  • Food,  gratitude,  writing/reading

    Grateful for…

    January 9, 2023
    This mornings avocado toast at Mugs

    … the breath of life, family, friends, sobriety, journaling, photography, nature, coffee shops, solitude, quiet, prayer, meditation, books, serenity, courage, an open mind, willingness, avocado toast, chocolate and …

    mws

    I would like to invite all who read this post to add to this short list above those things which you are grateful for. You do not need to add them in the comments necessarily but maybe find a piece of paper and write them down as you go through the day. Sunshine and blue skies here. Happy Monday!

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