My online journal where I share my interests in photography, nature, journaling, fountain pens, bicycling, coffee life, spirituality and the mystery of it all.
“… becoming Indigenous to a place means living as if your children’s future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.”
Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass
I have places inside and outside of the city that are sacred to me. I do not have civil ownership to them but I visit them because this is where I find quiet, solitude and regeneration. I cannot think of one place I visit where the hand of man has not trashed it in some way with beer cans, whiskey bottles, old tires, mattresses, chairs, cigarette butts, etc. It is a sign of how little we know about caring for our world, and those we share this land with or ourselves. I believe the care for the land must start with me.
In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.
“The Utah deserts and plateaus and canyons are not a country of big returns, but a country of spiritual healing, incomparable for contemplation, meditation, solitude, quiet, awe, peace of mind and body. We were born of wilderness, and we respond to it more than we sometimes realize. We depend upon it increasingly for relief from the termite life we have created. Factories, power plants, resorts, we can make anywhere. Wilderness, once we have given it up, is beyond our reconstruction.”
Wallace Stegner
I believe Stegner’s quote is valid for any place. Wilderness is always close by even in our cities but becoming smaller all the time. And we mistakenly call the elimination of these places development. Sigh!
I noticed some Campanula rapunculoides, also known by the common name of creeping bellflower, in a greenbelt and canal area on a walk along Shields Avenue. I felt a closer look was necessary. After a few photos I spotted these mushrooms. Since I was already on my knees I decided they also needed to have their photo taken. I took three photos of the mushrooms and later discovered the fly is only in one image. Guess the fly wanted their photo taken also. 😁
horizon of colors with quiet and solitude pre-dawn on the farm
mws
I am blessed to have the natural areas so close and with easy access. Yet, this morning I felt the desire to drive eastward, into Weld County. For I can also experience the quiet and solitude my soul needs out here. Taken this morning near Weld County Road 15 and County Road 78. And, I talked myself into stopping at the Bean Cycle on the way back into town for a mocha latte to bring home. This retirement life is pretty exciting!
Smoke hovers over the city The foul smell of smoke, now choking The amber color uninviting, otherworldly So quiet, birds sing in silence or elsewhere
Despairing mood in this darkened world Close my eyes, pray for a brighter day Open my eyes, but nothing changed I go for a mocha, stare at blank pages
I sit in the quiet, seek the light within Wishing it will shine on this gloomy day Now write words, they keep me in the present Even in this blackness we do not give up hope
Clouds and grazing cattle from yesterday afternoon
I was not in a good place yesterday. I felt frustration because of the state of our environmental crisis, loss of so much of our natural world, our political mess, economic mess, the entitlement mentality of individuals and corporations, the anger and violence in our world, and my own insecurities and fears along with my own feelings of entitlement. My journal is one of the tools I use when I become aware of these shadowy mental states. So, I took time in the afternoon to write about it. As words began to appear, I noticed a lot of wants and little gratitude for what I already have. Seems my appetite to want “more” crops up again, even in these troubled times, even when so many are struggling, even when I have all that I need.
Yet, through my writing I became aware the root of my frustration is: the noise. Silence has become a precious gift in my life. So, the noise of man’s machines that have grated against me for years, seemed to be even louder, more intense. Part of that has been the reduction of noise during this lockdown. I think I’ve mentioned this before but sometimes I just want to run away. So I did, even knowing there is no away.
The above image is as close to away as it got for me, about 7-8 miles east of town. I pulled over to watch and listen to nature, letting it all sink in, soothing, healing this troubled soul. The birds were singing and the grass eating cow machines were busily working. There is a twitter quote by Neil deGrasse Tyson that says a cow is a biological machine invented by humans to turn grass into steak. What’s really cool is it’s a quiet machine. Why can’t we have more quiet machines? I didn’t want to go back to town.
When we create sanctuaries we are creating places for possible healing, quiet, hope, peace, to pray, to belong, even commnity. We can find these sanctuaries in our churches, a coffee shop, out in nature, such as John Muir writes about, or it can be the wicker rocker in the corner of our bedroom.
We are a culture of constant piped music wherever we go. I have nothing against listening to music but not everyone wants to have a cup of coffee or eat a sandwich listening to music. Depending on where you go it can be almost impossible to have a conversation.
Back in 1991 I made a major lifestyle change when I decided no more television for me and have not had one since. I still listened to music, finding it valuable during some tough times in my life. I used the music for comfort and healing, with both lyrical songs and instrumentals.
In 2000 another lifestyle change occurred. I had a 5 year relationship come to an end and found myself not dealing well with it. There was enough wherewithal to decided to take a camping/fly fishing trip for three days on the Green River in Colorado. I talked to no one nor listened to any music during that time. Something shifted within me. After my return, I began to listen to less music at home. It’s now to the point of none at all. The music took a backseat to quiet and the sounds of nature, the silence drawing me more into those places. I now find man made noise to be more of an annoyance and the primary reason for my trips to the country. At this season of my life, silence is about listening to silence.
I go to this area on regular basis because it’s only about 5-6 miles from my home. Until last night I never paid any attention to this tree. Just to to right of of the image are a group of trees I photograph on a regular basis but not this one. I don’t even remember seeing it before. Anyway it is now on my list of subjects to look for.
Silence has become an essential part of my life. It’s not just a time to sit and have external quiet. Finding inner quiet has been a process over the past 20 years or so. I found it useful when I worked as a fight attendant. When flying I discovered how to find places of silence. After the chaotic boarding process we would begin pushing away from the gate and begin our taxi to the runway. It’s at this point we take our jump-seats and as we are trained, make a silent review. This silent review entails a walk through our minds all steps we would take in case of an emergency during takeoff. After a silent review I would also use this time to quiet my inner self. This included deep breaths to help silence the mind. There was no silence in that aircraft but I could find the silence within me.
