My online journal where I share my interests in photography, nature, coffee life, journaling, fountain pens, bicycling, spirituality and asking deep questions.
The spiritual journey is a constant interplay between moments of awe followed by a process of surrender to that moment.
Richard Rohr
While reading and journaling at Rolland Moore Park I noticed the wind rustling through the cottonwood trees above me. It caused me to look up and have one of those moments of awe. And, I just happened to have my camera with me.
I, who live by words, am wordless when
Madeleine L’Engle, “Words”
I try my words in prayer. All language turns
To silence. Prayer will take my words and then
Reveal their emptiness. The stilled voice learns
To hold its peace, to listen with the heart
To silence that is joy, is adoration.
The self is shattered, all words torn apart
In this strange patterned time of contemplation
That, in time, breaks time, breaks words, breaks me,
And then, in silence, leaves me healed and mended.
I leave, returned to language, for I see
Through words, even when all words are ended.
I, who live by words, am wordless when
I turn me to the Word to pray. Amen.
Those prayers of my youth for help have evolved over time to become more about gratitude, listening and staying present. I like that. Prayer has become much more than the words I say and more about the words I hear, yet are unheard. I like that. I can also say the same thing with my journaling, blogging and my photography. Each is becoming what it is meant to be. I like that. My friend shared this poem with me. I found it to resonate with me so I wanted to share it with you. This is last night’s sunset along Overland Trail. Directly behind me is a pond with a wonderful chorus of croaking frogs. I like that. Moments like this have become prayer to me, no need for my words. Well, maybe “Thanks.”
The morning temperatures this time of the year are comfortable enough for me to stand or sit as I watch and wait for the sun to crest that horizon. I like to think the birds are singing because they are happy to see me again, which in turn makes me happy. This morning I sat on a favorite rock and I let everything soak into the ground of my very being. The only words needed in this silent prayer is just my presence. As I sit here a thought runs through my mind, “What if I’m not so much of an observer of this moment but more of an essential part of it.” Some voice within me suggests that this scene would be incomplete, definitely not the same, if I was not here to be a part of it. I apologize for another sunrise image, yet each one is so uniquely different. Thinking I need to write a post about that statement. Have a wonderful day!!
Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” … [My dark side says,] I am no good… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.
Henri J.M. Nouwen
… as I unintentionally wake at 3:54 am. Wide awake I decide to get up. I made a trip to the bathroom and then settled into my prayer and meditation time. Ate a quick bowl of cereal, made a chai latte and headed out the door in anticipation of this day’s offering. The sun was not up yet but soon would be. I wanted to be at Pineridge Natural Area for pre-dawn light and sunrise.
Nature has so much to offer us this time of the day with its creative beauty, the silence, the solitude and witnessing the miracle of a new day. When we allow it, it touches the soul. Clouds presented warm pink and orange colors to entice the eyes. Meadowlarks and robins greeted me with beautiful songs of love. One meadowlark who seemed very excited, sang to me the whole time. I watched a Great Blue Heron wading along the shore who was soon joined by four more. I assume all were in anticipation of breakfast.
From there I headed east towards Arapaho Bend Natural Area in search of possible images of fog and morning light. This is an area that sits along the low lying land of the Poudre River, usually rich with fog. But, as I drove by Rolland Moore Park I could see the sun bursting through trees, casting light across the wet grass and its rays lighting up the fog. Distracted now, I quickly pulled into the parking lot and grabbed my camera and tripod. Again, I was given a lovely gift of golden light, shadows, and the sparkling wet grass. Grateful I was there!
By the time I arrived at Arapaho Bend Natural Area the sun had burned off most of the fog. Since the wind blew yesterday the skies this morning were clear and bright. A group of pelicans and Canada Geese were kind enough to share this sanctuary with me. I stood along the shores of the pond, which are reclaimed gravel pits, and let everything soak in, taking in deep breaths. What I experience in these early mornings may seem strange to some but it is my life. I am filled with gratitude! I then moved on with my day in anticipation of the possible gifts yet to come. And one of those gifts is the coffee shop for a mocha latte.1And when I got there (Starry Night) they had just made their chocolate chip/chai scones. They do not make them very often so I had to have one. Hope you enjoyed a peek at my morning images. Have an Awesome day!
Wanted to share this morning’s sunrise in a cloudless sky above Dixon Reservoir with you. Meadowlarks joined with chickadees, robins and magpies in singing of this morning’s beauty. Geese and ducks made small waves across the waters surface and joining in the chorus with a quack and a honk every once in a while. There were a few more people joining me with their coffee mug in one hand and their smartphone in the other to witness the sunrise. It’s in these moments I believe in a God, a Great Spirit, a Creator, whatever name you choose to give it, who is love, compassion, creativity, inspiration, and in my books, the true artist in every sense. Hope you have a great day! Happy Easter to those who celebrate this season!
Overcast skies dominate and it’s windy, definitely a bad hair day. Want to update my status after surgery. The TAVR procedure went well. They were done in just over an hour. Surgery started at 7:00 am and I was home about 5:00 pm. They fractured the original valve that was installed back in 2018 and inserted a new valve inside of that one. All done through the arteries. Amazing! My body seems to know nothing about a new aortic valve being installed. However, my groins are well aware of the three catheters invasive entry into my body, one in my wrist and one in each groin. I walk with pain, bent over like an old man, slow and deliberate, one foot in front of the other. Getting up and down from a chair is a slow process also. All tests done so far show the valve working perfectly and the gradient numbers of 40 we saw before surgery are now below 20. That tells us the heart is not working as hard pre surgery. I cannot say enough for the care I received from the medical staff and all the support and outreach from family and friends. Now comes the slow recovery process but this is nothing like I had with my open heart surgery four years ago. More to follow. Hope you are having a wonderful day!