“Other voices easily drown out our own before we can really hear it. And this applies whether you hear positive or negative reactions; both are dangerous to us. Positive feedback too soon will stop us moving forward or going deeper. It’ll stop us at the low-hanging fruit and the first, most obvious iterations, and our work won’t have a chance at getting honed. And negative reactions or feedback can stop us just as quickly when that feedback often only means “this work isn’t for me” and has nothing to do with how authentic or good it might actually be.” David DuChemin
Took the early bus this morning to campus and now at the Lory Student Center. I came early to have some time to write and a bit of quiet before the students begin dragging themselves in to classes. I will meet a good friend for coffee who teaches philosophy at 9:00. It seems to be a beautiful day, almost reaching 70 degrees before we have rain later this evening.
I relate to David’s quote as I have for most of my life been one who wants the approval of others. Hopefully, I’ve moved beyond the need for approval of others to validate who I am, at anything. At one time acquiring the comments and likes determined the quality of my images. I’m aware there are times when I post an image too early, before it’s time, looking for approval of a poor image, or I just want to post an image. What I get from his quote is the need to listen more to the voice within in all areas of life. I’m a work in process, taking my own routes, as are my images.
2 Comments
Cedric
It is a certainty that we are, all of us, work-in-progress, though I suspect that not many see it that way. Which is unfortunate. I have been having conversations around this particular topic (other voices, WIP, finding our way, etc.) with my son lately. He’s only 23 and already, he is starting to appreciate that self-validation comes from within ourselves, no small achievement for a young man who is trying to make his way as an author. Like you Monte, it took me close to a lifetime to have a detached appreciation for the approval of others, where I can accept it gladly and gratefully but without feeling in any way diminished when it doesn’t come.
It’s always nice to meet kindred spirits on these routes; even if they are geographically thousands of miles apart 😉
Monte Stevens
It sounds like your son and daughter have their heads on right, in spite of their parents. Or should that be because of their parents? 🙂 I like the word self-evaluation, which is how I choose to live my life now. I will have better relations with others, and the world around me, when I look at my stuff and not take others inventories. It has been a process to get to this point and I still do not do it well.
I also feel we are kindred in spirit and probably not have many coffee conversations less than 2-3 hours long. I suspect your sone could be right in the middle of the coffee conversation.