• clouds,  Humor,  landscape,  Pineridge Natural Area,  quotes,  sunsets

    Profanity and Ire

    Sunrise from last week

    Sometimes we are at one with our fellows in brotherly love and peace.
    Sometimes in the unity of traffic, profanity and ire.

    Brenda P

    I was down to one Dove’s chocolate yesterday morning so I made a run to the grocery store. I drove east on Prospect where construction had traffic down to one lane in two locations in that one mile stretch. Crazy drivers were speeding and trying to cut in front of other people. Angrily I began to call them names, which did not make me feel any better nor could they hear me. Once I got to the grocery store, I could not make the self checkout thingy work for me. The anger I was still holding on to when I walked into the store now included frustration. After finally getting checked out I took Drake westbound home to avoid the construction on Prospect. But…. they had construction on Drake down to one lane near Shields. Now I’m angry, frustrated and spewing profanity all over the dashboard of my car and totally away of my behavior. I turned north on Shields only to discover they had traffic down to one lane near Prospect due to construction. So in that four mile square trip to the grocery store I had one lane traffic in four places due to construction. And the construction was really nothing more than a cable company burying cable. Oh, the measures we go to for chocolate! Gladly, no one got hurt and I got my chocolate fix.

    I put myself in timeout when I got home (20 minutes of meditation time) and calmed down. I reflected on my childish reactions to my first world problems and how insignificant they are compared to other world problems. I laughed at my silliness and went to a place of gratitude for the life I live, began to be excessively gentle with myself and aware of the growth that I still need in moving away from my self-centeredness. Thanks for listening. I hope you’re having a wonderful day!

    Oh, and the quote is from a text message with my friend Brenda after she heard about my experience and rather childish behavior. I think it fits perfectly with my story.

  • Creativity,  Essays,  Photography,  writing/reading

    He Inspires Me

    I attended a wonderful program last night at CSU. A friend and fellow coffee shop regular, John Barnhardt, told his story of his 27 years as a cinematographer. He shared how he has wanted to make movies since he was about 9 years old. Through hard work and dedication he has/is achieving that dream, which includes winning an Emmy for some of his work. I was impressed with his openness and his vulnerability in telling his a story. I left inspired by his story, the journey he has taken, the challenges he has faced, developing his talents and gifts as a photographer and cinematographer, and how he inspires the students at CSU to believe in themselves and work towards their passions, finding their purpose, and offering their creativity to the world. I encourage you to check out his website.

  • clouds,  landscape,  natural areas,  Pineridge Natural Area,  sunrises

    I live a good life!

    This morning’s sunrise

    The starlings have noisily invaded the leafless deciduous trees along the eastern bank of Dixon Reservoir. I listen as their rabble rousing concert echoes across the meadow. Then without warning they stop. I look up, confused with the silence. Suddenly at some unknown signal they begin again, filling the sky now with their gossip of which garden or park they will invade next. When they go silent again, a group takes flight filling the air with their black wingbeats. Some consider the starlings to be invasive and destructive but the truth be, it’s nothing compared to man!

    Fully awake now and with my spirit refreshed, I move on to a local coffee shop. I share my story of the starlings with Adrianna while she makes my mocha. With her smile, our conversation and a warm mocha I begin to warm up. I live a good life!

  • clouds,  landscape,  natural areas,  Pineridge Natural Area,  quotes,  sunrises

    The New Story

    “We are between stories. The old story is no longer effective. Yet we have not learned ‘the new story.’ We are talking only to ourselves. We are not talking to the rivers, we are not listening to the wind and stars. We have broken the great conversation. By breaking that conversation we have shattered the universe.”

    Thomas Berry

    I talk to birds. I also listen to birds. The above quote made me think about my old story which said I could only talk at birds and they could only talk at me. Having a conversation was impossible. I’m realizing how that story is evolving for me. Although birds and I do not speak one anothers language, I wonder, is there a conversation going on?

    Conversation happens between humans without words. Many will attest to having conversations with their pets. So, can there be a conversation with all of creation, without words? When making eye contact with the cottontail, is that a form of conversation? Can there be a conversation going on between the wind and trees as they dance together. Is the sweet scent of honeysuckle a form of conversation with all who will pay attention? And, could it be that just paying attention and observing creation is a form of conversation? I do not have a solid answer to those questions but at this stage of my life, I am experiencing conversations with creation at new levels, a conversation that goes deeper than human words. Maybe, this is the new story!

  • journal,  journaling,  writing/reading

    A Creative Pursuit

    I’ve discovered the power words have to tell a story from my experience of journaling, reading books and writing and reading blog posts. Words have the ability to touch something within the writer and the reader. I’m seeing words as lovely seeds within each of us that make these stories. And, these stories come to fruition only when they are nurtured to life through our actions of writing them and sharing them. This blog post would not exist unless I write it and post it. Whether it’s content is good or bad is irrelevant. So at this time in my life, I’m comfortable to sit before a blank page in my journal or sit before a blank monitor and ask for words to share. It’s all a creative pursuit. Have a great week!

  • clouds,  Fujifilm X-T3,  Humor,  landscape,  mountains,  Plants,  quotes,  sunsets

    Softening the Heart

    Sun setting behind a sunflower at Reservoir Ridge Natural Area

    “The old Lakota was wise. He knew that a man’s heart away from nature becomes hard.”

    Luther Standing Bear, Oglala Lakota

    I’m  aware of how much more time I’m spending in nature. Seems the morning and evenings are always calling me. I took this image last night. But, this morning I took my latte, camera and journal to Red Fox meadows. A red fox scampered across Taft Hill Rd just as I turned into the parking area. Then as I parked the car a red tailed hawk rose up from the grass in the meadow but I did not see anything in its talons. I began to journal and listen. After about 5 minutes the fox came out a wooded area and into the grassy meadow. They were too far away to take a photo so I watched with my binoculars. They just sat there soaking up the sun and seemingly with eyes closed decided to lay down. Even I was enjoying the sun’s warmth. There were blue jays off to my right in a grove of trees having a rather loud discussion about something. I’m pretty sure it was not politics. I then watched a doe slowly walk out of the wooded area but staying close to the trees. I next had a short conversation with an elderly couple on a morning walk, both with canes. They lived nearby and said they were hoping to see owls. He was 88 and she was 83. Then as I started to leave a mother with two boys pulled up. I told them about the fox, deer and hawk which seemed to set expectations for some adventure. As they moved on the youngest told me, “Thank you Mr. Kind Man.” I believe, as does Luther Standing Bear, that nature can soften the heart!

  • clouds,  gratitude,  landscape,  mountains,  musings,  sunsets

    Your Words

    Post processed in Topaz Adjust
    Post processed in Topaz Adjust

    Words take on different meaning in different times, cultures and how they are used. My belief is that placing them together in a paragraph to create a story, express an idea or concept is a form of art. Sometimes in my attempts to use words to express myself or an idea the words work and sometimes they don’t. It is rewarding when I read your words on your blogs and through comments you leave on this blog. So often I find my feeble attempts at expressing myself are found in your words. For that I am grateful! Thank you!

  • A Sunday Story,  The Pen

    A Sunday Story: The Letter

    This is the last of a series of short stories about a pen. It was an idea conceived by Faye White after making a comment on one of my posts. We have agreed to come up with four stories about a pen and it’s travels. For me, the pen in these four stories has a encounter with someone and it’s task is to empower those who use it to bring their ideas, thoughts, dreams and visions on paper. I intend to post each story on four consecutive Sundays. I also encourage you to visit and enjoy Faye’s story here. Leave us comments to let us know you stopped by, we’d appreciate it.

    Eric’s body moved slowly as he pulled himself out of his comfortable bed. Each morning his body reminded him of the hard work he had put his body through for the past 84 years. He definitely had slowed down but he made sure he did his morning stretching to take care of this body of his, after all it was the only one he had been given. Today he would work in the front yard, trimming the bushes along the sidewalk and cleaning up any trash that may have blown in the yard. The yard had become a haven for him as he would wander in thoughts about Eva. They had enjoyed 62 years together so he had plenty of memories to recall. Some brought smiles, some brought tears and some made him laugh out loud. They both were the tricksters and each had caught the other off guard many of times. They also enjoyed working in this yard together. In fact this garden was inspired from a dream she had one night. It was all she could talk about until they joined in together and created this paradise he now so enjoyed.

    He could feel the sweat beading up on his back as he knelt down along the corner of the yard to pick up some trash. That’s when he noticed something bright and shiny under the potentilla bush. Only after he reached down and picked it up did he recognize it to be a beautiful silver and gold trimmed pen. To him it looked like a very expensive pen, something he could never afford to own. His mind raced with thoughts of who the owner was, what they looked like and where they lived. Could it be a neighbor? Or, was it a stranger walking by who had dropped the pen? How long had it been there? He put it in his pocket and continued on with his task at hand.

    After working in the yard the warm shower felt good. His spirits were high after the hard work and the yard was looking awesome. Even Tom, his neighbor across the street, had come over and commented about how great the yard looked. He started bellowing out an old familiar song in the shower. He smiled as he remembered how Eva would shout at him when he sang that song, pleading for mercy, which in turn prompted him to sing even louder. After his shower she would shake her head and mumbled how they could sure use the money he wasted on those voice lessons. Even though she did not like his singing, or that song, she kept a smile on her face. And that smile was one reason he sang, he wanted to see that smile. It was also a special way they communicated their love for one another. He missed her.

    Later that evening as Eric sat down in his favorite chair he remembered the pen he found earlier in the day. He picked up the pen and held it in his hands, studying it. It was beautiful to him, a piece of art. He opened the drawer to the lamp table next to his chair and pulled out a small tablet and began to write with this fine pen. First he wrote his name. Nice. Then he wrote down Eva’s name, “Evangeline Marie Sutter.” He found it a pleasure to write with this pen. So what else could he do with this pen besides write down names? He felt this pen would be nice to write letters with but he hadn’t written a letter in years. If he was to write a letter who would he write a letter to?

    Susan? Now there was a name he’d not thought of for few years. Susan Follett. He remembered the curly red hair, the freckles and those matching cute dimples that helped her smile radiate to the world of her inner beauty. They had attended school together since the third grade and graduated as seniors together. She was the first girl he had been attracted to and the first one he had asked out. He remembered that date when he took her to the county fair. A flood of memories were now flowing through his mind. Holding hands. The first kiss.

    After graduation, World War II would lead them off in different directions. Attempts were made to keep in touch after he enlisted in the Army and went to war but distance and circumstances kept then apart. Through friends he knew she had  married and started a family. He wondered how she was doing and where she was. As he held the pen in his hand, he made the decision to use this nice elegant pen to write her a letter. With the help of his granddaughter they found where she lived. He sat down and wrote “the letter.”

    He wasn’t sure what would he say? Would she write back? It didn’t matter, he was wanting to meet up with this friend from the past, a childhood sweetheart. With pen in hand he shared about his family and his life over the past 60 some years. He let her know Eva had died 14 months earlier. He also told her about finding the pen, how thoughts of her had inspired him to write her. His life was good and he was hoping hers was also.

    That letter started a series of welcomed letters between Eric and Susan and eventually a meeting. Through the letters he found that Susan was living in a small town in North Carolina and had been widowed for about 4 years. She still lived in her own home and had children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren living nearby.

    It was now nine months since Eric wrote that letter. He now stood next to his great grandson, Devin,who he had asked to be his best man. Tears were starting to well up in his eyes as he watched Susan walk up the church isle, holding tightly to her grandson, Daryian. In his eyes she was a beautiful bride. They knew there was no promise of how long they would have together but they were committed to sharing this renewed love for the rest of their lives. Eric was glad he’d found the pen and written “the letter.”

  • A Sunday Story,  The Pen

    A Sunday Story: The Inventory

    This is the third of a series of short stories about a pen. It was an idea conceived by Faye White after making a comment on one of my posts. We have agreed to come up with four stories about a pen and it’s travels. For me, the pen in these four stories has a encounter with someone and it’s task is to empower those who use it to bring their ideas, thoughts, dreams and visions on paper. I intend to post each story on four consecutive Sundays. I also encourage you to visit and enjoy Faye’s story here. Leave us comments to let us know you stopped by, we’d appreciate it.

    Ronnie found the pen just as he approached the side door leading to the church basement. It was an eye catching pen and looked expensive. He was running late so he placed it in his shirt pocket and headed inside where he met up with everyone.

    He’d been coming to these meetings now for the past seven months. He was uncertain why he kept coming as there were some really off-the-wall types inside these meeting rooms, people he would not normally associate with. However, he knew he kept coming back because of the relationship he had developed with Bill. They were not the best of friends and didn’t have all that much in common as Bill was older, widowed and very outgoing while Ronnie was on the quiet side and more introverted. But, Bill had sobriety, 18 years to be exact, and there was something about him that Ronnie wanted and needed.

    Even though it had only been a few months, Ronnie could remember those morning hangovers. Waking up with a dry mouth, trying to remember the events of the night before. There was the almost overwhelming fear when he couldn’t remember driving home. He had grown to accept these morning as his normal way of life. Some mornings it was tough just sitting up in bed, trying to focus bloodshot eyes but thankful he was in his own bed. And, every so often waking up on the bathroom floor.

    The topic at tonight’s meeting was on the Fourth Step of the 12 Step program. Ronnie listened intently as a couple of old-timers, both with long term  sobriety, shared how the fourth step had been a major step forward in their recovery. Ronnie had not yet worked all of the steps with his sponsor. Step four seemed to be a holding place for him. His sponsor, Bill, had not pushed him, feeling he would work the steps in due time. Bill felt Ronnie had to want to work the steps when he was ready. They had been reading the Big Book together and had read through Chapter 5 on How It Works, where it outlines all the Steps. Ronnie had worked up to the third step and said the third step prayer with Bill but balked at step four. Taking an inventory, to clean house by looking at his faults, was not something he felt he needed. There were to many people who were the ones at fault and had caused him much pain.

    After the meeting he gathered around to share in the fellowship the program offered. Bill walked up and gave him a big hug, a much welcomed hug. As they separated their embrace Ronnie wondered again why Bill’s presence was so calming.

    “Glad you made it, my friend. How’s your day?”, Bill asked.

    With a smile Ronnie responded, “It’s been good. I’m still employed and the repairs on my car didn’t damage my pocket book as I expected.” They both laughed. As Ronnie pulled the pen out of his pocket to show Bill he said, “Look what I found outside the church as I came to the meeting tonight.”

    Bills lowered his head and looked over the top of his glasses so he took a good look at the elegant silver and gold pen in his hand. With his calming voice he told Ronnie,”Man, that’s an expensive looking pen. I bet  it would be a great pen to write a Fourth step inventory.” Yes, Ronnie knew it was a gentle nudge to move forward and begin that fourth step inventory.

    Ronnie quietly responded, “Yea, I suppose so,” and placed the pen back in his pocket, hoping they could move on to something else. They both knew Bill had done what was required, so nothing else needed to be said.

    Later that evening Ronnie remembered the pen and decided to look at it before going to bed. He picked up the envelope containing his electric bill, pulled off the cap on the pen and wrote down his name. The pen did have a good feel to it. Without much thought, he took out a blank sheet of paper from his printer, walked over his desk and sat down. It was almost 10:00 PM. He should be going to bed but he knew the time had arrived. At the top of the blank sheet of paper he wrote, “Inventory.” At that moment there was no thought about how long this might take. His task was to begin and finish.